I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
