put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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