He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
