I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
