you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize