You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize