I just pynch a tree in the face
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
