Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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