Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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