I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
