I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
