i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
