A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
