what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
