I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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