in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
