Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just had sex bonerless
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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