I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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