my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
