I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
