You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
