i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I could make wine with my vomit
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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