Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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