fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
