Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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