Walk of Shame. In a state park.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
