whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
