Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize