I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
