she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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