I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
