It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm really busy with my period
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