u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
