Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize