I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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