Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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