It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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