Me. At least after what I've been through.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
