i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
