Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
