Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
