I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
