if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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