Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
