I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
