if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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