I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
