oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
