Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
