My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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