your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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