Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize