VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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