My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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