making cat noises will not fix the situation.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will be naked everywhere
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
